Don't forget that we're playing in a fantasy setting where evil is a very real thing, and may even be personified in some cases. By describing the outlook of a race as evil, it's simply a description any elf, dwarf, human, halfling etc would use in this instance. I know that generalizing something as 'evil' doesnt do justice to the many complexities of existence, but I gave descriptions of what I meant.
What annoyed me was that you ignored what I said and simply said 'alignments are meaningless' which in general terms I do agree with. The thing is, alignments are guidelines, much as Barbosa said. They indicate the general behavior and attitude of a race, creature or person. They are not gospel. I would classify the Drow as a chaotic evil race, and the Hobgoblins as a lawful evil race. Just as my own personal way of categorizing. Not as a game mechanic. It felt like you were simply dismissing my words as irrelevant because you thought I was arguing alignment, which I was not.
I agree with your descriptions of both races, and yes just because you're evil doesn't mean you can't make friends. I'm sure Sauron had regular bookclub meetings over wine and cheese.
The way I see it is that the terms 'good', 'neutral' and 'evil' are merely indications of likely behavior and general outlook. It's likely that you'd find tolkien-esque elves ignoring the plight of homeless and starving humans simply because they are trespassing in forests guarded by elves. You might also find a goblin who's rescued a kitten and now cares for it and loves it. But I would still describe the goblins as evil and the elves as good, as a race, simply because the goblin is likely to leave the kitten at home to go off and raid a halfling village, killing everyone and looting their corpses, while the elves are likely to go off and fight an army of orcs attacking human settlements.
Also, as a rule, Drow have been corrupted by Lolth to the degree that they do not consider themselves to be evil, they consider the surface elves to be. Hobgoblins also would probably not consider themselves to be evil, and are quite capable of justifying their actions, even when killing newborns. That doesnt mean anyone else wouldnt consider them to be evil.
At any rate, I agree that Rapple could have made a friend in his sergeant, but would probably not care about him dying. You do get a certain mindset that simply does not understand how to care about others. I think Chris' portrayal of Rapple is rather accurate in his nonchalance over his underling's death. Friendship in this instance would mean 'what you can do for me, and what I can do for you', not love and trust.
I really like it when, in neverwinter nights 2, how you play your character and what choices you make effect your alignment, not the other way around. In this regard, I really like the alignment rules.